Friday, July 18, 2008

Wheatgrass Part 3

I've been neglecting this blog and this feature, which is a shame because the best part is coming up.

On to the "facts"!

11 Chlorophyll can be extracted from many plants, but wheatgrass is superior because it has been found to have over 100 elements needed by man. If grown in organic soil, it absorbs 92 of the known 102 minerals from the soil.

Fantastic! Did we establish that chlorophyll is good, yet? I don't remember. Also, how much of those elements and minerals does it have? Is it enough to matter? Does it have 100 elements needed by man like a Snickers bar has protein?

12 Wheatgrass has what is called the grass-juice factor, which has been shown to keep herbivorous animals alive indefinitely.

You heard it here first! IMMORTAL RABBITS.

Wish I believed in God, because I have a sudden urge to start praying.

13 Dr. Ann Wigmore and institutes based on her teachings has been helping people get well from chronic disorders for 30 years using wheatgrass.

First of all, your verb should be plural. Dr. Wigmore and institutes HAVE been helping. Secondly, who is this Dr. Ann Wigmore? Well, let's take a look. Oh, this is good. Dr. Ann Wigmore's studied for years to become a qualified professional holding a PhD in...


I wonder what her thesis was about.

14 Liquid chlorophyll gets into the tissues, refines them and makes them over.

So chlorophyll is like a deep tissue massage? Don't let the Swedes find out about this, their whole economy could collapse!

15 Wheatgrass Juice is a superior detoxification agent compared to carrot juice and other fruits and vegetables. Dr Earp-Thomas, associate of Ann Wigmore, says that 15 pounds of Wheatgrass is the equivalent of 350 pounds of carrot, lettuce, celery, and so forth.

And so forth? So, what, tomatoes? Broccoli? Spinach? Well, it doesn't matter anyways, because that's completely wrong. It's difficult to find information on Dr. Earp-Thomas, he doesn't show up on Wikipedia. All I could find was remarkably professional page that clearly isn't run by a crazy person with a very basic knowledge of HTML. What I just did there was a logical fallacy, but in this case I'm going to cut myself some slack.

1 comment:

Q said...

Wigmore, however, is a name that inspires trust. It says a lot about the person without even meeting them.

There is no such thing as too many wigs.

Wheat grass tastes bad, therefore it MUST be good for you, since bad tasting vegetables are, as everyone knows, the healthiest.